Month: April 2021

Peer Review Screen Shots

Recursive Process:

 My revision process has changed a little bit over the past semester. While I didn’t change my grammatical revision process I did change reorganization and new paragraph additions. I have learned how to add more information to my paragraphs to show my own ideas in the paper. I am able to take pieces out of one paragraph, where it may not be working too well, and incorporate those important ideas into another paragraph. This kind of reorganization was really helpful for me to adapt and use this semester because it helped me keep paragraphs and ideas that were very important to what I was talking about. Before I learned this i would just scrap those ideas since they did not fit into the paragraph they were in. I also learned how to split up paragraphs and add new paragraphs into my writing. I usually write long paragraphs that get very boring but this semester I have learned how to split a single paragraph up into multiple paragraphs that all flow nicely together. These ideas that I have learned have helped me become a better writer and be able to show my opinion and ideas in better ways. 

Integrating Ideas:

 When it comes to integrating ideas of other authors into my work I personally feel like I am able to do a really good job at this. All throughout high school I did timed writings where it was required to use the ideas of the authors we read about earlier and summarize or quote them in your work. I have always felt like I was able to make connections between my own ideas and other authors’ ideas as well as the ideas of two or more different authors. I think this has always been a strong suit of mine and throughout this semester I have just been able to strengthen these ideas in all 3 of my papers. 

Document Work (MLA): 

Along with using another author’s ideas I think that in-text citations are also a strong suit of mine. I have always quoted an author and then used a citation at the end of the quotation in my papers before it was even a requirement in this class. I was always pushed to do this in high school and it became a habit for me. And because of that I have always had them in my writing, as a way to credit the ideas that I am using from other authors. My Works Cited page has been a challenge for me to learn the proper way to put the full citations in my paper but I am definitely getting better at the citations and its rules.

Reworked Paragraph: 

Reparations are a way to make amends to people who have wronged, and this can happen at any level. Whether it be small with only a few people or on a larger scale with many people involved, the bigger scaled reparations usually happen with governments and giving back to minorities that have been wronged. The idea of reparations has been talked about for many years, to be given to all of the black people living in America. Since the dawn of America there have been injustices toward black people, and it has continued to the present day. There have been no changes made and there have been talks about changing up no change has really happened. Coverage about reparations has increased and more people are starting to talk about making this change, to pay back these people who have suffered their entire life just because of their skin color. Author Ta-Nehisi Coates wrote an essay called “The Case for Reparations” which talks about what reparations are, what they mean to people and why they have not been passed yet in America. The idea of reparations has been talked about for many years. The first discussion of reparations happened after slavery ended. Coates begins his discussion on reparations by talking about what has happened to these people after slavery had ended, they weren’t able to buy housing with mortages and they were giving more money to sleezey salesmen. This is not the only offense, but one that Coates felt passionate about, to show the injustices in a real situation. Once again these ideas were brought up to the people in the government, there were people who wanted something to change and to give these people some compensation for their generations of suffering. What they came up with was a bill called HR-40. HR 40, also known as the Commision to Study Reparation Proposals for African Americans Act, is a bill that has been thrown about the Senate floors for years. It was initially proposed by John Conyers JR and he has been fighting for over 25 years for these reparations to happen. Coates talks about the ideas that Coyner had for this reparation bill and just how it wasn’t going to work. There has been much discussion about the bill and what it stands for. Coyner, and Coates, wanted the black people of America to get something in return for the horrible treatment they have faced since the dawn of America. Yet, there is something more that Coates thinks is the issue with reparations. He says, “suggests that our concerns are rooted not in the impracticality of reparations but in something more existential.” (page  21). This idea that Coates has is that reparations will not be achievable unless we do something to change the American government. This country was founded directly upon racisms and racists ideas, people we were owning people of colour when our country started and these ideas that anyone who is not white if inferreiour is still something that we are struggling with today. We still live with the racist ideas of government, and if that doesn’t change then we will never be able to repay the black people for the trauma and hurt they have been put through for generations. 

New Conclusion:

Reparations are something that need to happen. These people deserve closure and equality, they deserve a repayment for the terrors of America’s past. If nothing gets changed, if America doesn’t see its faults there will never be any growth. These racist ways have been ingrained in the minds of Americans for years and if there is no change in how the country is run there will not be any closure for the actions of the past. Reparations are needed for many families and we must see their hardships and adapt to give them some relief. At this moment there has been a movement to start and create change. America is nowhere near where it needs to be to accept the changes that need to be made, but we are headed in the right direction. Younger generations are getting older, and gaining power within the government and we can create change that is needed. We need to be able to open our arms to the people who have been hurt and give them some compensation for the hurt that they have lived through. We are headed in the right direction to finally accept and enable reparations but there are still so many steps that we need to take. 

White people have never had to live through any oppression, the truth is white people are the oppressors. For many, many years white people have had the power and the dictation of America. They are the ones who run the country, make the rules and create decisions for America as a whole. But they have only ever lived with privilege. Even poor white families have more privileges than poor black families, and being poor is also very frowned upon in this country. These people have never had to deal with oppression or fear of their lives. They are the top of the food chain and make very important decisions in this country without ever living life as someone with less privilege. They have never worried about not getting the job or scholarship, they have been the ones runnin things for years and this is creating a larger division in our country. Author and Liberal Arts activist Jeffrey Scheuer brought up a very important point in his article “ Critical Thinking and the Liberal Arts” about thinking outside of yourself and putting yourself in someone else’s shoes, he also talks about what critical thinking is and how it gets developed. He says “The advanced skills that form that bridge include thinking independently, an almost self-evident intellectual virtue but a vague one (and no mind is an island); thinking outside the box (likewise crucial but unspecific); grasping the different forms and divisions of knowledge and how they are acquired (but the forms of knowledge and ways of acquiring them evolve); seeing distinctions and connections beyond the obvious; distinguishing reality from appearance; and engaging with complexity, but not for its own sake”(page 5). Scheuer is talking about thinking outside of the box and seeing outside of yourself as a way to think critically, to have an understanding of something that someone else may be going through. And this idea of critical thinking can tie right into Coates idea of reparation. He says “One cannot escape the question by hand-waving at the past, disavowing the acts of one’s ancestors, nor by citing a recent date of ancestral immigration. The last slaveholder has been dead for a very long time. The last soldier to endure Valley Forge has been dead much longer. To proudly claim the veteran and disown the slaveholder is patriotism à la carte. A nation outlives its generations. We were not there when Washington crossed the Delaware, but Emanuel Gottlieb Leutze’s rendering has meaning to us. We were not there when Woodrow Wilson took us into World War I, but we are still paying out the pensions. If Thomas Jefferson’s genius matters, then so does his taking of Sally Hemings’s body. If George Washington crossing the Delaware matters, so must his ruthless pursuit of the runagate Oney Judge” (Page 21) showing what he believes many Americans are thinking because the people who are alive today are not the ones who were truly affected by slavery. The people who were hurt and harmed by the racism of the past are not alive now, and the close minded people of America are asking why we should be giving people things when they weren’t the ones who went through the hardships? But while they are considered close minded to many individuals, they still have a point in their opinions. They believe that why should they give up their money and resources for something that they never did or were never apart of. Reparation is supposed ot be dealing with slavery itself and the injustices that the black commnity, and many other minorities, faced for years. While we are not a perfect country now and we have lots of growing to do, we are not what we used to be. The politicians that disagree with reparations are thinking that we are the best we can eb and the fact that we have changed our racists views of the years should be enough because they weren’t the ones who caused the most harm.  In some ways Coates agrees with these people because he thinks that reparations won’t happen due to America being founded directly on the ideas of racism. Knowing that the popel who faced the most racism and harmed by slavery are all dead and those who owned slaves are also dead so there is no point in paying back these peope who enver expeierenced these hardships, but the idea of reparations is to make up the mistakes in the past, and that is what is trying to be put into place. And with Scheuers idea of thinking outside the box and truly seeing outside of ourselves, putting yourself in their shoes could be what changes politicians’ view on reparations. If we use Scheuers knowledge on critical thinking and just immerse ourselves in the understanding of what has happened to these people, we will be more willing to help them and give them a second chance. 

I took a paragraph from my original essay and added how the other side would feel about reparations. And why they don’t believe that reparations are important or able to give out. By adding this other opinion on reparations, my audience is going to be able to see both sides of this argument and see where they stand and where I stand on the topic. By having both pieces of information and viewpoints, my readers are going to be able to make their own decision about how they feel about reparations. Giving two sides to the argument is going to create more depth in my writing and give the readers more to chew on as they read my paper. 

Original: Racism is a very disgusting yet common thing in America. Since the construction of America, and before, there have been racist ideas and rules that were put into place by our government. While America itself has grown as a country and drifted from these ideas, it is still an apparent part of this society. Author Ta-Nehisi Coates brought up the idea of reparations in a new light to try and show the American people what black folk have gone through their entire lives and why they deserve the same opportunities as the white people do. Reparations are needed because for hundreds of years America has continued to oppress and hurt black individuals and their families for years. Equality is something that everyone deserves and the way to make amends for the past is to try and put reparations into place and give some sort of repayment for the way these individuals have been treated.

Revised: Racism is a very disgusting yet common thing in America. Since the construction of America, and before, there have been racist ideas and rules that were put into place by our government. While America itself has grown as a country and drifted from these ideas, it is still an apparent part of this society. Author Ta-Nehisi Coates brought up the idea of reparations in a new light to try and show the American people what black folk have gone through their entire lives and why they deserve the same opportunities as the white people do. Reparations are needed because for hundreds of years America has continued to oppress and hurt black individuals and their families for years. White America does not understand the hardships that generations of black families have had to endure. “Critical Thinking and the Liberal Arts” by Liberal Arts activist Jeffrey Scheuer talks about the ideas of critical thinking and references many of the points that Coates makes in his essay. Not only in Coates work is there conversation about the inequalities of families of color and lower class. In Carol Dweck’s TED Talk, “The Power of Believing That You Can Improve” there is also conversation about the hardships that many families face. Equality is something that everyone deserves and the way to make amends for the past is to try and put reparations into place and give some sort of repayment for the way these individuals have been treated.

Changes: I added in detail about each of the articles from class that I used in my essay. This change was an idea that my peer group had for me when we went over my essay. I think by adding this into my essay, my readers are going to better understand the use of the materials in my writing and be able to see the connection between them all. 

Original: These injustices are being seen in many different situations and are becoming a part of normal life of people of color. There have been studies that show students of color or students who are living in a large low income neighborhood are given less resources than students living in a more wealthy neighborhood. Education researcher Carol Dweck talks about this happening with students. In Dweck’s TED Talk she first describes her  idea of a growth mindset, and what you can do if you teach students a way to create a deeper understanding of knowledge they will become better versions of themselves. This type of mindset is what is going to push a child and their academic goals. When she finally gave children, who usually didn’t get the opportunity to think at a deeper level, the tools to understand knowledge and thinking you can see the difference in their attitude and test scores. “So let’s talk about equality. In our country, there are groups of students who chronically underperform, for example, children in inner cities, or children on Native American reservations. And they’ve done so poorly for so long that many people think it’s inevitable. But when educators create growth mindset classrooms steeped in yet, equality happens” Dweck then goes on to describe this change in their performance in the classroom and the change is unbelievable. She sees that they are placing higher across the national levels and are starting to be recognized for their academic achievements. Giving students these types of opportunities is something that everyone should deserve. Dweck does not believe that students should be punished through their education for their families income and living situation. That is out of the children’s control and yet the school boards and governments still do not give the resources and money to these low income areas. This idea that Dweck talked about in her TED talk is very similar to the ideas that Coates had about school for black children in his essay. His idea is  that if you give people of colour a chance to talk to have things that many white families and students get, you will be changing the narrative. Coates interviewed a man named Clyde Ross in his essay, asking him about his struggles as a black man in America. When the Coates asked Ross about money and education he said “‘Without the money, you can’t move. You can’t educate your kids. You can’t give them the right kind of food… My kids were going to the best schools in this neighborhood, and I couldn’t keep them in there’”(Page 36). This shows that there are so many people who struggle to keep their kids in a school system that is going to provide them with the tools that Dweck has talked about but once they lose that money and that chance at keeping their kids there, they have to pull them out and send them to schools that don’t have the same opportunities. “The message the young black boy receives from his country, Billy Brooks says, is “ ‘You ain’t shit. You not no good. The only thing you are worth is working for us. You will never own anything. You not going to get an education. We are sending your ass to the penitentiary.’ They’re telling you no matter how hard you struggle, no matter what you put down, you ain’t shit’” (Page 45) this is just another example of black people struggling to get the same type or opportunity in education that white children have been having their entire lives. Coates believes that this injustice can be stopped and that if we just give all of these children the same opportunities, you can see just how smart black children are and how well they can do in school. School is something that everyone has the right too but we need to have a universal type of education so that all students get the same opportunities. If we do this we can have a variety of people in charge and making decisions for our country, and not have it be the same old white men in charge. 

Revised: These injustices are being seen in many different situations and are becoming a part of normal life of people of color. There have been studies that show students of color or students who are living in a large low income neighborhood are given less resources than students living in a more wealthy neighborhood. Education researcher Carol Dweck talks about this happening with students. In Dweck’s TED Talk she first describes her  idea of a growth mindset, and what you can do if you teach students a way to create a deeper understanding of knowledge they will become better versions of themselves. This type of mindset is what is going to push a child and their academic goals. When she finally gave children, who usually didn’t get the opportunity to think at a deeper level, the tools to understand knowledge and thinking you can see the difference in their attitude and test scores. “So let’s talk about equality. In our country, there are groups of students who chronically underperform, for example, children in inner cities, or children on Native American reservations. And they’ve done so poorly for so long that many people think it’s inevitable. But when educators create growth mindset classrooms steeped in yet, equality happens” Dweck then goes on to describe this change in their performance in the classroom and the change is unbelievable. She sees that they are placing higher across the national levels and are starting to be recognized for their academic achievements. Giving students these types of opportunities is something that everyone should deserve. Dweck does not believe that students should be punished through their education for their families income and living situation. That is out of the children’s control and yet the school boards and governments still do not give the resources and money to these low income areas. This idea that Dweck talked about in her TED talk is very similar to the ideas that Coates had about school for black children in his essay.  His idea is  that if you give people of colour a chance to talk to have things that many white families and students get, you will be changing the narrative. Coates interviewed a man named Clyde Ross in his essay, asking him about his struggles as a black man in America. When the Coates asked Ross about money and education he said “‘Without the money, you can’t move. You can’t educate your kids. You can’t give them the right kind of food… My kids were going to the best schools in this neighborhood, and I couldn’t keep them in there’”(Page 36). This shows that there are so many people who struggle to keep their kids in a school system that is going to provide them with the tools that Dweck has talked about but once they lose that money and that chance at keeping their kids there, they have to pull them out and send them to schools that don’t have the same opportunities. “The message the young black boy receives from his country, Billy Brooks says, is “ ‘You ain’t shit. You not no good. The only thing you are worth is working for us. You will never own anything. You not going to get an education. We are sending your ass to the penitentiary.’ They’re telling you no matter how hard you struggle, no matter what you put down, you ain’t shit’” (Page 45) this is just another example of black people struggling to get the same type or opportunity in education that white children have been having their entire lives. Throughout most of America’s history, the white people have been in power putting down everyone who did not look like them. These people in charge poisoned the minds of America entirely by making people of color be seen as less than solely the color of their skin, without knowing anything else about them. They created an entirely horrible connotation about people of color because of the way they look. And for decades we have let this happen. If we gave everyone an equal chance at living the life of American Dream, we as a whole country would be able to see that people of color are not the bad guys. They are more than the ugly ideas that the founders of our country believed them to be. Coates believes that this injustice can be stopped and that if we just give all of these children the same opportunities, you can see just how smart black children are and how well they can do in school. School is something that everyone has the right too but we need to have a universal type of education so that all students get the same opportunities. If we do this we can have a variety of people in charge and making decisions for our country, and not have it be the same old white men in charge.

Changes: I added a little bit more of my perspective at the end of this paragraph. While rereading it I could tell that I was missing my own voice in this paragraph. By adding my voice at the end here and then tying it all together with the ideas of the authors, you can see my understanding of the text and how it makes me feel. By doing this I also give my readers more of an inside understanding of  the text.