What big concerns did you have about your draft as you completed the first draft?
The biggest concerns that I had once I finished my first draft was the length of if. I thought that there were too many words and that I had too much information in my paper that would make it boring to read. When I get in the groove, the words just start to flow out of me and makes it very hard to create a shorter essay. The length was my only concern, because I knew that I hit all the important points in both texts and had done a good job explaining them.
What did your peers like about your paper?
Bridget was my peer in this and was the one to read over my paper. From our conversation in class, she continued to bring up my ending of the essay, “ Let’s stop wasting the potential of the future generations, and have a better and more understanding future”, she said that it was really good and was a good way to wrap up my essay. She did also say that she liked a lot of my explanations and how they brought together my own ideas and opinions as well as the ideas and opinions of the other authors.
Where are you working best with Dweck? What do your peers think you can do to improve that section?
I am working best with Dweck when I use her quote, “On the left, you see the fixed-mindset students. There’s hardly any activity. They run from the error. They don’t engage with it” (around 01:51) because in my essay I engage with the fixed-mindset and how we can fix it. And in this quote you see exactly what Dweck believes a fixed mindset is and what these students do when faced with a problem. Bridget also said that she enjoyed the way I explained the quote. “Very very good explanation of the quote and it supports the argument well. The explanation of fixed mindset in regards to students is crucial to your argument” this is Bridget’s comment from that section. And when she and I talked in class we both agreed that while I do a good job explaining sometimes I can explain too much, which is seen with other quotes as well. And I can definitely see how she liked the way I ended this quote, but I can also see the issue with the explanation as well.
Where are you working best with Lukianoff and Haidt? What do your peers think you can do to improve that section?
I am working best with Lukianoff and Haidt when I am using this quote, “Attempts to shield students from words, ideas, and people that might cause them emotional discomfort are bad for the students. They are bad for the workplace, which will be mired in unending litigation if student expectations of safety are carried forward” (Paragraph 58). I think that this is a fantastic quote and you can really see their perspective on trigger warnings. This quote has so many layers to it and I can really explain and dive into my ideas since my ideas are similar to Lukianoff and Haidt. Bridget also commented on this quote for me saying “I can see your perspective coming out here, you use the quote to segue into your own idea. i think it is a valid point and supports your claim well”. She sees how I agree with this quote and how it works for my argument in my essay. But similarly to the Dweck quote I need to just me more precise and shorten my explanations.
According to my peers, what are your two biggest challenges in your work with the texts? How do you think you can address those challenges in your revision?
According to Bridget, which I also agree with, is that in some parts of my essay there is just too much explanation that is making the essay longer. She said that in some parts it is necessary but in others it is just too much. And I completely agree with her, a bad habitat of mine is either too much detail or too little detail so I need to find the perfect medium. To fix this issue I am going to go back and reread each of my paragraphs and take out the unnecessary detail and explain things that I probably have already said in my essay, and make it concise and easier to read. The second challenge that Bridget pointed out is spelling mistakes, which I am aware of. When I am writing I just get going so fast trying to get my thoughts out onto the page that I make spelling mistakes or sentence errors. And for a rough draft that is alright, but for the final draft I need to go back in and get rid of those mistakes and the run on sentences. Overall I just need to do some clean up to make it a more enjoyable read.
Using guidance from your peers, put your overall perspective into a sentence or two. How will you help your reader “get” your perspective?
Trigger warnings are creating a fixed mindset in students, that they cannot function without them. And this is creating a person that is not going to be able to thrive in the real world. Both Bridget and I talked a lot about perspective in both of our essays, and I believe that my perspective is very apparent in my essay. But in order for the readers to understand my perspective, I will be using powerful quotes from Lukianoff/Haidt and Dweck that show what trigger warnings are and what a fixed mindset is. And then explain how they connect and just what the issue between the two is. Making sure the explanation is there in my essay will show my perspective and what I want the readers to get from reading my essay.
